Knock knock... Who's there? Who is really there?

Have you ever wondered who you are?

Yes, you probably have... it's a quite common "teenager" question: Who am I?

But it's silly to think of it as a teenage question - knowing the answer to this question gives us great strength and allows us to live a stable and strong life regardless of our surroundings.

I'd like to share the point of view I've developed for defining myself - it is of course not at all an absolute truth or "The way to do it", but it is, I think, a very strong guideline, and it has helped me through many situations and gives a guide to my life.

So here's me: I am the decisions I make.

Of course years and years ago, at first, I was like: What I do is who I am. At a young age that seems to be at hand - When I do things, whatever I did was a result of me... so what I do is me. (what a lovely sentence :)

But of course getting into the teens, life becomes a bit more virtual - days and weeks go by, and you feel all that's changing are your thoughts. New thoughts, thoughts generating more thoughts, generating opinions and views. And it feels like I am my thoughts.

But then you get to meet new people and see new places and get to high-school (and do cool stuff, like start debating :), and all your previous opinions of the world fall apart and get rearranged and you get to see totally new ideas and perspectives... and it's pretty cool..

but it destroys the definition that you are your thoughts.

And the two theories shown above obviously aren't true. You can't be defined by your actions, because imagine this guy, Bill, in two parallel universes. In both universes Bill gets an email containing some information on a mafia leader, Bill gets up, goes over to that person and murders him. He is shot by some bodyguards right after the act.
Now in one universe he did it because he knew this was the only way he could prevent a genocide or something, in the other he did it because he knew this was a way he could get to unlimited power.
The two Bills did exactly the same thing, yet they were totally different people.

Of course a similar example could be brought for the other view that I am defined by my thoughts.

So I needed to get to the core of the problem, and after lots of thought I got to the simple conclusion, that I am defined by the decisions I make.

And it's comforting, because I am defined by my decisions... but I am the one who makes those decisions, so it's pretty cool, because I am able to define myself through the decision I make! :) It essentially leads right back to the whole Beckham thing - taking control of who I am.

And it's also very good in tough spots, because all you have to do is ask yourself, am I the person who does this/does that? It's a great perspective to steer yourself in the right direction. For example you're walking home from school and you see a blind person trying to cross the street. All you need to ask yourself is: "Am I a person who walks by pretending not to notice someone needs help or am I the person who recognizes the problem and sacrifices 2 minutes of his time?".

And it essentially comes down to basic morals - "Am I selfish and terribly lazy or am I selfless and caring?"

And before you know it it turns into: "Do I want to be selfish or do I want to be selfless?",
and you go from "Who am I?" to "Who do I really want to be?"

And in the beginning it's the small things, helping someone on the way home, being kind and understanding with a friend, studying a bit harder, sacrificing a bit of time and effort for others...

But it quickly grows and becomes much larger and more pressing!! Because if you've come to define yourself based on the morals of your decisions then you will have to rethink your life.

And soon I will continue with the sequel of the Deadly Train Switch.